


For Take Off (Come With Me)

by Kiceess



Category: zaintsee, เพราะรักใช่ป่าว | Why R U?: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: But I'm really not I swear, Dramatic Zee tho, FlightAttendent!Zee, Heavy Drama cause I'm a Drama Queen, Help, Hook-Up, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, IDK why I keep writing Drama, Idol!Saint, M/M, Random Encounters, Secret Identity, random hook-ups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25846660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiceess/pseuds/Kiceess
Summary: Flight attendant Zee keeps bumping unto this super cute stranger everywhere. In Seoul, in Paris, in Italy, but he’s quite sure he’s Thai. And he’s quite sure that every single time IT happens, it is pure coincidence.Or;"Come with me," Sup asks this time.Zee finds himself nodding without thinking much about it.
Relationships: Fighter/Saifah/Tutor/Zon (Why R U?: The Series), Fighter/Tutor (Why R U?: The Series), Jimmy Karn Kritsanaphan/Tommy Sittichok Pueakpoolpol, Zee Pruk Panich/Saint Suppapong Udomkaewkanjana
Comments: 29
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A fanfic told in Zee’s POV and I’m living for it. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I saw a story here that is kinda in the same concept as this, but please this is in no way copying, and/or paraphrasing the author’s work. I wrote this not knowing there’s one that has a super close resemblance to this storyline. I hope this will not confuse or offend anyone. 
> 
> Disclaimer II: I have no flight attendant-experience, or have never been to any of the places mentioned here. So, I hope we can brush through the details (I literally just googled everything, and crawled my way to make it seem realistic ehe). So if it doesn't make sense, I'm really sorry. Huhu I hope you still read it tho. 
> 
> Ps. the tag says Hook-Up but it is PG I swear. Hehe.

He has barely gotten an hour’s worth of sleep, but he’s already getting called back to work. His friend Poppy, the fucker, called in sick and no one is available to take over his flight to Korea. 

He himself just got off an 18-hour flight from New York, back-to-back 9-hour flight NY to Milan then from Milan to Canada, then a 15-hour flight back to Thailand, with only a night in between each country. He has finally gotten a 4-day rest day, but since he isn’t dead yet, he has to report back and get on a plane from Thailand to Korea. He feels like he is about to throw up. 

After this flight gets back, he’s getting off work for a week, turn his phone off, hide in a resort somewhere, and finally have some alone time with his beautiful baby girl, Selena. His hard-earned Nikon DSLR he bought for his 25th birthday, about 2 years ago. 

The thought of getting his toes on the warm sand and his camera in hand, he got up his bed. 

He feels so much better now that he is seated. This coach flight seems easy. Hopefully, it is since he’s only had 4 hours of sleep. At least this isn’t the longest flight he’s ever had and they have the entire night in Seoul, before flying back in the morning. He can just feel the warm bed calling his name and it’s good enough to bring a smile to his lips. But he was pulled out of his stupor when he got passed by a disoriented passenger. He immediately stood up to assist them, but all he can see was baby-soft skin, and red, red full lips. He clears his throat to stop his thoughts, and he looks at their eyes, the brightest, prettiest eyes he has seen in his life.

This person might be the single-most beautiful creature he has seen in his life, and he can feel his arm being pulled towards the restroom.

He was pushed into the tiny space in the restroom, but he can’t complain and instead, head-on kissed back. They were in a hurry it seems. Impatient, tired but hasty. 

“Off, off, please. I want you.” 

He was barely able to unbutton his pants, but already on their knees, lips half parted and their eyes glassy. They were just kissing and already this debauched. Zee wanted to see this person on their back, on black, satin sheets, and his name on their lips. But this would have to do. A blowjob and a tiny kiss on the lips, the beautiful creature went out of the restroom as if nothing happened, and there he was, dumb stuck with the best head he received in his life. Damn.

“You were gone in the restroom for some time. Had fun?” Jimmy, one of the youngest attendants in their team decked him on the shoulder. But really it just looked like he was elbowing him for they had a good 10-cm height difference. This kid was a literal tree.

“None of your business.” They had barely gotten off the plane, walking out on to the lobby of Incheon Airport, and already gets interrogated.

“Oh, come on. That was a 5-hour flight and you got sexy times. I just came from a 16-hour flight and all I got is neck cramps and a boner for my Tommy. Spill.” 

Zee made a disgusted face from his friend’s information. He ignores him for a while, getting into the shared taxi first, before looking back at him with the most unimpressed face he can muster.

“I did not need to know that. Gross. And it’s whatever. It’s not like we’ll meet again anyway. He was just looking for something to pass the time, I was there. Convenient.”

It’s not whatever. Zee has not had a serious relationship ever since he became a flight attendant. Between long hours in flight, and demanding schedules, all he can do is spend a little time with his sister and sleep. Fly, sleep, rinse, and repeat. But he can’t say that. His circle has a thing for competing on, who has had the most hook-ups on flights, and he isn’t ready to get fired. And that was the first time he has gotten any action anyway so, he is not ready to divulge that information either.

Jimmy whistles and slaps his knee. “Fine. You can just keep that to yourself. But I’ll be updating the boys later. They’ll do the questioning instead.” 

The younger male looked out the window with a huge smile on his face, probably thinking of his boyfriend he is meeting in their hotel later.

“Hmm.” Zee barely grunts. It’s not like he is annoyed by his friends. He loves them to bits. They have been through thick and thin. But that love can tease him till he wrings their necks, or mother him to bits. And he usually prefers his peace and quiet. He has fun from time to time of course. He has risked his neck for these idiots, but they followed and stuck with him through everything, and for that, he can’t help but love them.

His mind drifts back to daydreaming. Plush lips, glassy eyes, and soft, black hair that looked like a halo on an angel’s face. Well, it was good while it lasted.

On their usual seat on the bar, he’s on his 3rd shot of whiskey. He was not planning to get pissed drunk, but with these idiots around, beer will not get him anywhere. But he listens to them rowdy up the place anyway. They were noisy, rowdy but the bar manager is a close friend, being regulars in this hotel. They always get this hotel when they come to Korea, since it’s in Seoul, and one of the best services around. And it’s paid by the management. Perfect.

He smiles silently, and chimes in from time to time. Careful not to draw attention to himself, but.

“Hey. I heard a famous Thai artist got on your flight here. He came here to Korea for a concert.” Tommy asks. 

He has not seen anyone famous get in their flight so he shrugs. But the rest of the group perks up and supplies. 

“Oh yeah, he was there. The guy is super beautiful up close. Let me tell you, skin like those Thai actresses. He actually kinda looks like one, I just can’t point my finger on it.” Joss said.

“Baifern. Baifern Pimchanok.” Mark supplies. Zee knows this actress. He has not seen any of her movies, but her name is quite a talk in his country. 

Jimmy decks him and smirks. “Guess who had a sexy time with this artist.”

Zee looks at him questioningly, curious as well. Tommy, with his big eyes, looks back and forth between them and yells.

“Oh my god. It’s him right? The guy who got our P’Zee?” 

Now Zee is confused. Who and what are they talking about. Just when he was about to ask Jimmy, the taller male was looking from behind his head, which makes Zee turn around. 

He saw the angel walk up to him, and with a sweet smile. Zee totally turns around, mouth a little ajar from the shock. What a small world. 

“What a small world. We got the same hotel.” The angel winks and walks closer to him, then sits on the seat beside him.

“Hey, so, I know this is a little backward. With the blowjob coming in first, then your name second, but I’m Sup. Suppapong Udomkaewkanjana.” His voice was low, a little secretive. But Zee likes it that way. This way those idiots won’t hear anything. 

“I’m Zee. Zee Pruk Panich.” Zee brings his hand out for a handshake, and Sup takes it. His hold is firm, but not domineering. His hand was super soft albeit being a size no different than his own.

Sup lets go, then slyly turns back to the drink in his hand. It was a comfortable silence for a few seconds. Zee looked back at his friends, failing to pretend they were not eavesdropping, then looks at the beautiful man beside him, looking so expensive and pretty like he was the jewel of the place. He kind of is. He walked like he owned the place. Like he was a god gracing this lowly place with his presence, and Zee felt shy and inadequate. 

Zee is so intrigued. He met this stranger in an airplane, albeit being obviously tired a few hours prior, gotten head from this man, then meets him again in the bar in his hotel. It seemed almost weird.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Sup asked in a lilting tone, but it was a suggestion, not a question. And Zee finds himself nodding, and pays for his whiskey. He was sure he heard gasps and yells from back there, but he pays no mind.

He was led out to a lounge area. He has only been here once when he went to Korea alone a year ago. But now he’s not alone, and his companion is looking at him. Zee smiles at him, obviously feeling a little shy, then the other man talks. He asks him about his childhood, about his work, about his hobbies, his likes, and dislikes. 

Then an hour into the conversation, instead now on Sup’s bed. His favorite shirt pulled off and tossed to the side. This time he sees Sup’s smaller lean body and he concludes, he is the most beautiful creature in the world. And he doesn’t know why he is on his bed, but he’s not complaining. 

Not when the beautiful man is on his back, on black satin sheets, moaning his name like a mantra. He gets to see him get undone by his lips and hands. And looks at him like the absolute seductive vixen that he is. Teasing like a challenge. He takes him apart for real this time, and this time the smaller man looks like his absolute dreams and fantasies coming to life.

Zee is on his 2nd day off. He promised himself a week of absolutely no airplanes and flying, but here is his sister Janis, talking about taking a flight to Italy to see her favorite artist, Saint, to perform there, taking him with her.

“Can’t you see I’m on my day off here? I love my job, not gonna lie, but I have planes and flights to last me a lifetime.”

“But P’, I’m a beautiful woman, about to fly to see a man all the way to Italy. Aren’t you at least going to protect me?” Janis brings on the pout and the teary-eyes. He has been subjected to this for far too many times, and he’s determined to not let her win this time.

“You have decided to see this man all the way to Italy, you are old enough to be on your own. Besides, nobody’s gonna want you there anyway, you’re not their type.” Janis opens her mouth in shock. Zee snickers and returns to his book. Huh.

Zee was not surprised to get kicked off the sofa, so he stands up and returns to his seat on it. Janis this time brings out the tantrum, arms crossed and looking the other way.

“Then that makes you ugly too. We are Phi-Nong.” Then drapes herself over Zee’s head, determined to squish him in or something. She barely weighs anything, so he is hunched over the couch, a book on his hand, and a full-grown woman, arms on his head, her body on the entirety of his back.

Janis this time hits him on the head and then jumps a little to push her full weight on Zee. 

“P’. You have to come with me. Who’s going take pictures of me in Italy? That’s freaking Italy, there’s no way it’s going to be just selfies. Your good with the camera and I’m a beautiful subject. It’s logical.”

Zee groans. “So I’m a photographer now? What happened to me being ugly?” 

“P’! You’re coming with me, whether you like it or not. You’re going to be taking pictures of me, then take me to Saint’s concert. And you ain’t getting away with it.” Janis fake cries.

“Oh yeah? You and what army?” Zee scoffs, and then yelps from the hits his head is getting. His little sister can be quite strong when she wants to be.

“Fine. Geez. You let me off the whole week, I’ll meet you in Italy after I finish my work in Paris, then you got yourself a deal.” Zee puts his hand up for a seal of agreement.

Janis squints her eyes, and then holds her P’s hand in a firm handshake, slowly bringing their hands up and down, albeit being on a weird angle. “Deal”

“Now can I get back to my book?” Janis nods happily then gets off his back.

Zee feels so refreshed from his 4-day day off. He feels like he can tackle the world. With his luggage on hand, and his seeing Tommy joining their Europe trip this time, they get on the plane. This is a 13-hour flight from Bangkok-Paris. 

He puts his luggage on their designated storage, exclusive to the plane crew, careful because he brought his baby Selena with him. He asked for a 3-day off after his Paris flight, exchanging shifts with Day, who is so understanding when he mentioned Janis. Once the Italy trip is over, he’ll have a friendly chit-chat with the man and ask for his intention. It'll be super friendly and chill. Yes.

The flight to Paris, France is successful. With the whole afternoon and the night free, he intends to revisit all his favorite spots and cafés in Paris. He is given 5 hours to be by himself before he has to meet his friends. They have set up for them to eat something then head to a club. Always the clubs. So, he’ll gather enough energy for tonight by sipping coffee and taking pictures of the scenery. The absolute best way to go.

Cardkey, check. Wallet, check. Cellphone, check. Beautiful, baby Selena, check.

He is always amazed by how generous their airlines are, always providing them the best hotels wherever they stay. His room has an impressive view of the Eiffel Tower. So he takes a picture of that first, then move on to the whole landscape. Taking pictures of scenery and people will always be therapeutic to Zee. Before he got into photography, he used to sit down on benches and just look and observe at people. Passers-by, chatting people on other benches, loud teenagers having the time of their life with their peers, and strangers his eyes get drawn, possibly thinking he's a creep for looking too long. He'll think the same though if he ever comes across one, hence his now preference to a camera. Not to creep, okay. To observe. To make him forget, of things he doesn't know.

He wasn't taking pictures actually, just looking through his viewfinder, until he sees quite a familiar figure walking his way.

"We should stop meeting like this." 

"Nope. We have this thing going on. It's exciting actually." 

Zee snorts and puts his camera down. 

"Where are you staying this time?"

Sup pointed at a building that looks like it came out of the brochures they give out in flights. Zee steals a glance at Sup's side profile. Still beautiful.

"What are you up to now?" Zee brings up his camera then grins.

Sup makes a little sly smile, one perfectly manicured eyebrow raised, then points at the camera with his lips. 

"Can I see?" The pretty males ask.

Zee shakes his head then smiles.

"Come with me." Zee says. A statement, not quite a demand nor a question.

Sup raises both perfectly manicured eyebrows and smiles. Zee has been amazed since his first encounter with this man, with how beautiful he is. But with how he is grinning at him now? Even more so.

Sup takes his hand and pulls him towards the center of the park. He points at things that he wants Zee to take a picture of. At the Tower, at the little girl clutching her mother's hand and a balloon in her free hand. Mostly of kids that they see. Zee is surprised at the discovery that this mysterious man is fond of kids. He takes a picture of them anyway and follows along.

"Let's have brunch. I'm starving." Sup says. Zee nods and cocks his head to the side, to point at the line of cafe's surrounding the park.

"I have this favorite pastry place. They serve all these famous french baked stuff like croissants, but they also have a secret menu of breakfast meals. It's the place I always eat when I visit here because croissant only fills me up for an hour." Sup animatedly says. Zee sees this for the first time and he feels uncannily happy. He doesn't know where this is coming from, but it's also familiar.

Sup drags him towards the said cafe. Telling him tales of his previous visits to Paris. He stays quiet and lets the other man speak. He is obviously comfortable with this place, for him to be able to tell him things, without him needing to ask the questions. So he listens. And he unconsciously takes everything into memory. All little details.

They ate croissants, bacon, and egg and tea with milk. But also coffee since Sup only drinks tea to make him look fancy. Then the smaller male tells him a little something about his work.

"I write stuff. And sing in the shower. The world is not ready to hear me sing yet." Zee snickers. "And you?"

"Well, I take long flights, help people find their seats, and serve snacks. I like taking pictures. And I dance in the shower. I need to be confined, or else I'll destroy things."

Sup laughs loudly and clutches his forearms. Zee notices the other man does this a lot. Hold his arm when he walks too far, touches his hand when he talks, and stares at his eyes when he listens.

It's quite unnerving. He's never a fan of touches, but Sup does it so naturally that he doesn't feel bothered.

Sup is currently sprawled out on the metal chair on the outside of the cafe. He has his head tilted back, eyes closed. And Zee stares. 

Zee looks away in time, the smaller male looked at him with haughty in his eyes. 

"Come with me," Sup asks this time.

Zee finds himself nodding without thinking much about it.

Sup takes him to a gallery. He is enjoying his time taking pictures, observing people still. Sup explains to him the pieces he "knows" in the gallery. More like makeup stories in what he sees in them, and sells it to him. He is just following along, behind the smaller man. He secretly takes pictures of him, when he is not looking, or when he is busy looking at the pieces, or when he's looking and listening to the guides. He was even able to take a picture of him almost face front, but he feigned innocence and lied to his teeth.

Then Sup looks back to him again. "Take a picture of me."

Zee does so without wording his approval. Taking pictures of him, with the paintings, with the figures. But of course, also candid ones. Sup offered to take a picture of him, but he vehemently said no. But the adorable male was still able to convince him, and now he is smiling as best as he can when the smaller male prompts him to. 

Just then his phone rings and Zee answers it, knowing who's calling him.

"Is it time yet Poppy?" 

"Yes, motherfucker. It is. You had enough alone time, you have to spend the rest with us now." Zee hums and looks to his side. Where Sup is taking selfies with his phone."

"Can I take someone with me?" 

"Who? The rest of the gang is invited." Zee just hums in approval and says. "Someone I met here."

"Ohoo. You are fast brother. So, the alone time is just an excuse to spend time with your faen huh?" Zee tsks.

"Can I take someone or not?" Zee asks irritated.

"Of course you can. If your willing to introduce them, then we are happy to know them. Just know we will interrogate the shit out of you two." Zee shakes his head.

"Not my faen. Just a friend I made here and it's fun if we take them in. They're alone here too." Zee insists.

"Of course. I already said yes man. It's whatever. Just get your ass here. Everyone's waiting already." Zee hums again, then hangs up.

"Sup." He pockets his phone and sees the other man's wide eyes, cheeks full and lips in a pout. "Krub?"

"Come with me." Zee stretches his hand. Barely suppressing his want to pinch his cheeks.

Sup smiles and takes his hand. 

They needed to refresh themselves from their trip. They went to their respective hotels, then agreed to meet up at Sup's hotel lobby. 

Zee is seated on the couch. The smaller male told him to go up when he arrives but decided against it. So he's stuck looking around the lobby's furniture, and the prominent French design of the hotel. The columns, the doors, floors, and ceiling all look classy and elegant. It weirdly reminds him of the other male. It could also be because he was gushing about it the whole afternoon. Showing him buildings of such design.

He hears the elevator ding, and Sup comes out of it. The smaller male grins at him, and waves.

"I was thinking, and I just realized I don't know if your older or younger than me. In my mind, I just call you Zee, and it feels weird. I'm 21. So I guess I'm younger right?" the younger man asks as he sits beside Zee.

"Oh, wow you're quite young. I'm 27. You're this young and you travel a lot? You must be rich huh?" Zee teases.

"I did tell you I write, right? It comes with the job." the smaller man says. Waving his hand towards the surroundings, like to point at it.

"It must be a very lucrative job then. What do you write exactly?" Zee prods. 

Sup shrugs and smiles. "Stuff." Sup answers.

Zee shakes his head in exasperation. No use in knowing much anyway. He stands up and cocks his head to the side, signaling the younger man they're leaving.

Sup stands up, follows him out of the hotel, and walks beside him.

"Do we need to take a taxi, we can split the fare," Sup asks.

He looks at him and smirks. "Not telling." Then they walk to the way to Zee's hotel.

Sup looks in confusion and looks the older male. 

"This is your hotel, right? Why did we meet up in mine, if you're just going back to yours anyway?" Zee shrugs and takes him to the hotel bar.

Sup tsks, and takes his hand away in annoyance. He is purposefully weighing himself back so Zee drags him, to slow them down. But Zee grins and makes the younger male freeze and forgets he was supposed to be dead weight. Letting the older drag him all the way to the bar.

Zee sees his friends loitering around the bar as usual. They weren't as noisy as usual, since the patrons are in here to have a silent night with their drinks. 

He sees them look behind him, so he looks back. It was just in time to see the younger male put his hands down.

Poppy is the one that approached them.

"About time you got here. We were about to age 10 years or something." Poppy says dramatically.

Zee snickers and points to his friends.

"Sup, these are the guys. Guys, this is Sup." Zee introduces. 

Sup elbows him gently, and Zee smiles. The younger male says instead, "Hey guys. I'm Suppapong. I hope I don't mess up your night."

Poppy perks up, "Oh no, of course not. It's not every day we get to meet a celebrity. And you're very pretty." Poppy says. 

With this, he gets dragged and locked into a headlock by Jimmy, and Tommy stands up.

"Hey! Can I call you Sup? We already met last time, right? I'm Tommy, the tree over there is Jimmy, my boyfriend. Currently in a headlock is Poppy, and the gawking idiots are Max, Mark, Joss, Park, Toy, and baby Nat" Pointing at them one by one, while they do their own wave or greeting. 

Sup shyly smiles back. Zee sees this and says, "Don't be shy around these buffoons. They are loud and useless, but they're alright." 

He hears a chorus of 'Hey!'s but ignores them. Sup nods shyly and calls the bartender for a drink. He orders the same for Zee, and they drink immediately when it arrives.

Zee can feel the questions and curiosity from the idiots. "What?!"

Poppy, whose hair is still messy from the headlock, speaks up first.

"So how did you two meet?" Zee looks at Sup and the younger nods.

"We first met on a flight from Thailand to Seoul, then as Tommy said, we met in our hotel there, cause he stayed in it too. Then this afternoon. I was taking pictures, and he's here Paris for a 'job'" Zee makes the quote marks with his fingers.

Sup nudges him with his shoulders with a pout but then smiles.

"Hmm," Park remarks.

"So you just met 3 times, and now you're all buddy-buddy," Mark says and Park makes a thumbs up.

"Right," Zee confirms, while Sup nods.

"Zee, it took 6 months in college, for you to reply to my chats. And we have known each other since high school." Poppy says, not letting Zee get away with that bullshit.

"It took me 1 year in the job, for you to acknowledge I actually exist," Nat says shyly. Mark pats his head and hugs him.

"Don't think about it, baby. We don't talk about that. Those were dark times." Zee tsks and smacks Mark upside in the head.

"I wasn't ignoring you N'Nat. I just thought you were too shy to talk to me since you can't even look me in the eye. And you have always been in the group anyway. I'm sorry I made you feel like that." Zee replies.

Everyone is gawking and wide eyes at his comment. Sup looks at them, hiding his smile behind his glass.

Zee looks at them and "What?!"

"We actually thought you didn't like him," Joss says.

"Guys, I'm silent and mysterious, not rude. You do notice I say 'Hi' to you right N'Nat?" Zee directs his question to the small man, and he smiles when the small man nods.

"See? I don't have to tell you each that I like you." Zee says. Sup nods along with him and says, "Is he usually the brooding, emo-type that just grunts at everybody or something?" he asks the group.

They all nod, and its Zee's turn to say 'Hey!'

Sup smiles and turns to Zee. "There, there. They're your friends. It's good they don't lie to your face. And we have discovered something about Zee tonight. Don't we all agree?" he asks.

Everyone nods and looks at both men. The confusion and wonder still very evident on their faces.

"Okay. Let's get this party started, or we're gonna be stuck here, gawking at the new couple." "Yeah," Tommy and Jimmy say.

They all continue to drink their pre-game drinks and decided on what club they were going to.

Zee always doesn't notice his friends' remark. So they proceed as usual.

They decided to go to a club, not too far from the hotel. But since it wasn't open until 11 PM, 30 minutes away, they walked the way there.

They got in time to the club opening and found out they needed to have an invitation since the club was rented for the night. They contemplated on going to another place, but Sup did a handshake thing with the bouncer, and they got in.

They all looked at Zee questioningly, and he returned the question back. "What? I don't know how he knows the bouncer. Let's just be grateful and get in."

Sup walked through the crowd, and it seemed like everybody knew him. The guys seem to bask in the attention since people greeted them too. He figured it must be because they came in with Sup. But again, how do all these people know him? How does he know this many people? And what is the event in the club, anyway?

They take a seat in a corner of the club, and drinks just poured in. They were downing in drinks after drinks, and they were all having a good time. Zee's question, thrown off his head.

Sup was with them the whole night, albeit having people ask selfies from him time to time, and he gets called over for short periods too. And people approach them for selfies too, and someone even asked if they were interested in modeling. 

Zee was all looking at them, then Sup approaches him.

"Come with me." Sup whispers.

he stands up and ignores his friends' catcalls and crass comments. He follows the young male towards, what seems to be the backdoor. But it leads to a staircase, and he presumes it's for a rooftop.

Turns out he's right, and the young male turns to him.

"It was getting a little noisy back there," Sup tells him lowly, and takes a seat with one of the chairs by the veranda.

He takes one for himself too, and instead of voicing out his curiosity, he opts to look at the night sky. 

"P'Zee" Sup whispers. Even with the muted noise below, he can still hear it, and he turns towards the younger. "Yeah?"

But instead of an answer, the beautiful male leans in and kisses him. It started gentle and hesitant, but when he licked the younger male's lips, he opened up and pushed harder. This kiss is different than what they had in Seoul. He pushed in too, deciding it was his turn. They were fighting for dominance, but Sup finally let him.

Zee pulled the younger out of his seat and the younger straddles him. Hands roaming under their clothes, and Zee says. "I can't wait, anymore. Is there any room in here?" then kisses him again.

Sup leans back, and the older's lips are at his neck, sucking and licking his warm skin, making the younger one groan. "P'Zee! Ngh. No, they don't. We'll have to get back to our hotel. Mine or yours?" then holds the other man's face, to direct him back to his lips.

They get more heated, and Zee pats Sup's thighs, the younger locking his waist in between jean-clad thighs, and stands up. He moves back, towards a wall, and leans the younger male on it. Each other's lips still locked.

"P'Zee. Mine or yours, or we're gonna get banned from this club for fucking." Sup leans his head back and refuses the older's lips when it looks for his.

"Yours. Fuck. Let's go to yours." Zee says distractingly.

Sup gets down from his hold, and takes the older's hand in his, to lead them out. They were met with the bouncer and greeted him.

They hurriedly call a taxi. They were on edge the whole ride. Stopping themselves from making out in front of the French driver, who seems to have caught on in the atmosphere anyway. Their pants tightening, and Sup teases Zee by palming the tent on the older's pants.

"Sup!" Zee growls, but it doesn't stop him. He continues to palm him gently, and slowly and makes the older close his eyes and lean his head back on the seat. He was only brought out of his trance when the hand stopped palming him and realizes they have arrived. 

He took out some bills from his wallet, and all but drags Sup out of his seat, and into the entrance of the hotel.

Everything then was a blur. It became a blur of doors and more doors. And a wall. And finally the bed. 

He took his time, this time around, admiring and showering the younger with kisses. He loves his body, and he worships it. And it shows how much he pays attention to every part of him.

"P'Zee" the younger calls impatiently.

The younger was writhing on navy blue sheets, and he looks absolutely stunning. He knows he will look good on red, or maroon. But he's lucky to even see him in blue.

"Are you ready?" He asks. The younger holds his face and whispers. "Come to me." 

Zee growls, and everything feels like a blur. It felt like they made love for an hour, but he knows it couldn't have been that long with how turned he is. 

They go at it for hours and hours, until the sun rises. 

Zee wakes up before the younger male, so he looks at his face while he sleeps. His cheeks round of life, his lips tantalizing. His skin is bright and flawless. 

He traces his face with his fingers as lightly as possible. His hands were a little shaky, like his heart was on his fingers, tracing Sup's closed eyes, his tall nose, his smooth round cheeks, and finally his full, red lips.

_Oh._

Upon realizing Zee abruptly stands up, not caring if it woke up the younger male. He wears his pants and shirt. And runs.

He runs out of the building, all the way to his own hotel, not stopping until he arrived in his own room.

And thinks again.

_Oh_

He fucked up. He's in love with him. And he fucked up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So this came out earlier than I intended since I accidentally posted it. But I was able to delete in time, and it gave me the motivation to finish editing it and stuff sooo here goess hehhe
> 
> PS. I changed the rating, cause some of the changes turned out to be a little... heated. Just for warning and stuff. But it’s super short, you can totally skip it. Hehe

It's already 11 AM, but he's been on high alert since he woke up. Fidgety, jumpy even, and it's getting on everyone's nerves.

"What the hell is wrong with you man? You look like someone's gonna come guns blazing, or you killed someone. Which one is it so we'll know what to do." Mark says, already on his final straw. He was beside Zee the whole time, and he's getting annoyed that he isn't listening in their conversation.

"Nothing. I'm just, I'm still tired from last night." Zee says exasperatedly. Poppy and Park, hold his chest to stop him from walking. 

"Fun or rough night?" Park says. He has always been the quiet type, only choosing to speak when he absolutely wants to. 

"No. I drank too much and we're going on a flight to Italy and I look like shit. What if someone files a complaint about it or something?" Zee insists.

His friends were looking at each other, deciding to let this one go. He is clearly upset. They walked out to wait for a taxi then Zee's phone rings.

"Zee, I've just arrived in Italy. Are you boarding soon?" His sister's Janis's voice can be heard through the phone. Excitement is evident in her tone.

"Yeah, we're on our way to the airport. I'll be there in 4 hours tops. Just text me the hotel you're staying and I'll come to you." Zee answers.

"Hey. Are you okay? I know you don't usually sound chirpy, but you sound down-er today. Did something happen?" Janis inquires.

Zee rubs his forehead in annoyance. "Why does everybody think something is wrong with me today. Nothing. Nothing happened, okay? I'm just tired." He yells.

"Okay. I'm sorry I asked." His sister's voice sounded sad.

"I'm sorry. I'm, I'm sorry for taking it out on you. The guys have been asking me the same question the whole morning, but really, I'm fine." Zee explains.

"If this is about you taking me to Saint's concert, you don't have to, I can go on my own. I just wanted you to go with me, because we never spent time together anymore, and I thought the concert and Italy is a good idea. You can just go straight home. I'll be fine on my own." Janis supplies.

Zee, for the first time that morning, smiles. He knows his sister is playful, a little overbearing, but she always looks out for him. He can't say no to her anyway.

"But who's going to take pictures for you?" Zee teases and he can hear his sister's smile over the phone.

"You of course. Or I'm gonna ask strangers to do it." Janis teases back.

"Go to your hotel and rest. I'll meet you there, and we'll decide on what to do for the day."

"Okay. Have a safe flight. I love you." His sister says.

"And I, you." Then Zee hangs up.

He feels so much better then looks at his friends who were silent the whole time.

"I am saying, as a personal opinion, but I know everybody thinks this way, but P'Zee, you look so handsome when you smile. Even if you don't, you still do. But you look so much better when you're happy." The baby of the group says.

The rest sound their agreement, and even pats the baby on the head for speaking out for them. Zee smiles at them in return and hums.

He may feel like absolute shit, but his sister and the idiots who stick out for him will always make him feel better. And he loves them for it.

He arrives in Italy with no lapses or disruption, and he's now looking at the shops that line up the streets on the way to the hotel. He takes his camera out, happy for the alone time, albeit short.

He checks in, gets a room beside Janis's, and drags the little luggage he has on hand. Thankful for the little carry-on that they bring to work.

He settles in his room first and texts his sister that he's in the room beside hers. He puts his phone on silent, wanting to take a shower first before meeting up with her. So he texts and tells her to bother him again after 30 minutes.

Feeling more refreshed, he unlocks the door and tells her to let herself in. 

"Hey! I'm a bother? Do you see this beautiful woman as a bother? You're lucky I even put up with you, a lot of men are desperate for my attention but I still give you the time of day. Hmph." He plops herself down on her brother's bed, and spreads herself on the comforter, forming a star-shape. Zee looks at her and shakes his head.

"These expensive hotel beds are always so comfortable. It is what makes these expensive hotels worth it," she says dreamily.

"Are you falling sleep on my bed?" Zee asks.

Janis turns her body to the side, her head on her palm, and looks at her brother.

"Saint updated on Instagram and its a picture of a cafe in Paris. What a coincidence, you were just there too." Janis gushes.

Zee pays no mind since his sister loves to fangirl about this certain Saint. And his sister doesn't mind that he doesn't say much about him since he has no idea who he is. But Sup's face flashes in his mind and he shakes it out. He needs to stop daydreaming.

"And he also updated on twitter. He said he just arrived today and is getting ready for the concert tomorrow. But he doesn't sound as enthusiastic as usual though. He even sounds a little... sad." Janis adds.

"Hmm. This is a world tour, right? Of course, he's going to be tired. He needs to fly, practice, and sing to thousands of fangirls, who won't stop screaming. He is tired." Zee teases.

"Hey! I don't scream that much. I only scream like 3 minutes tops, then I compose myself." Janis defends. Zee hums and smirks with the remembrance of his sister crying while fantasizing about the singer.

"So what do you wanna do for the rest of the night?" Zee asks. Janis looks at him seriously and pouts while contemplating.

"I got tired waiting for you, and I don't feel like going out. Why don't we have a sleepover?" Janis says enthusiastically. Zee knows what she's doing.

"Are you sure?" Zee reassures. 

"Positive. Don't you see me yawning? I can't stop yawning. I'm tired." Then turns the TV on, and connects it to Netflix.

She pats, the other side of the bed, and he settles himself on her side. 

He looks at his sister while she's in the middle of drinking expensive beer from the hotel mini-fridge and says. "Thank you"

She looks at him and says. "I don't know what you mean. Watch!"

They get up super early the next day to compensate for the night before, and Janis already has an itinerary set for the whole trip.

She basically just googled 'Top tourist destinations in Milan, Italy' then put that on her notes. He's here on a deal, so he follows along, and takes pictures of everything. 

"I know you've come to Italy hundreds of times, but I know you've never actually been here." His sister says.

Zee smiles and nods, and takes pictures of her for IG, then wacky pictures, to send to their parents.

They settled on a bench, Janis on her phone, and him drinking water while looking at people again. Then Janis suddenly slaps his arms.

"Aw. What?" Zee asks. Janis shrieks and shows her phone.

"He's here in Italy. He posted a picture of the Il Duomo." Janis says. then gets her phone out of his face. Zee went a little cross-eyed.

"Well, you did tell me he tweeted it. Unless he was lying." Janis hits his arm again, and he rubs it this time.

"My Saint is an angel. He will never lie." Janis defends. He shuts his mouth before he acquires any more damage. Sup's face flashes in his mind, with the mention of the word angel, but he shakes his thoughts out again.

They head next to the Galleria Vittorio, and they look through the shops and cafe available in the arcade to decide on where to eat for lunch. When they were seated at their chosen restaurant, Janis hits his arm again and shows him another picture.

"He posted a picture of the Naviglio, he says he wants to visit there, but he can't because of his schedule." Janis pouts and takes her phone back.

"Let's go there for him. It'll be fun." Janis suggests. Zee nods and says "Sure. Whatever."

Janis smiles and they peacefully eat lunch.

When they arrive in the Naviglio, Zee feels something is odd. Like someone was watching him. He looks around and only sees locals, tourists, and the cafes by the canals. So he shrugs it off, and takes picture of the place, and prompts Janis, to pose for the camera. 

They had fun the entire afternoon, and just about 4 hours before the concert, they returned back to their hotel to prepare for the event.

Zee feels strangely excited and a little nervous about the concert. Maybe because it was his first time, and that he has no idea who this singer is.

He wears a tucked dark blue button shirt over his white shirt, leaving the first 4 buttons undone. And black pants. He deems it's good enough for the event. Not too casual, and not too formal that he'll look like a guardian with their kid.

Janis storms in his room, and looks at him from head to toe. 

"What shoes are you wearing?" Janis asks while rummaging through his luggage.

"Umm, my white loafers? Why?" He inquires. Janis nods in satisfaction.

"You always look good no matter what you wear, so you don't need my help," she says, while waiting for him to wear his shoes.

Zee looks at her. "Thank you?" he asks.

"It's not a good thing!" Zee purses his lips and zips it.

"I want a brother who I need to dress up. But even if you wear a sack, you'll still look good, so I'm useless." she pouts.

Zee looks at her in amusement and shakes his head. 

"There, there. You can help me decide what to wear on our next trip. So let's go or we're gonna be late."

Janis looks up at him and grins. "You said it yourself! You can't take it back. I have a country in mind for our next trip. And I have already googled the top tourist destinations as well." Janis walks ahead of him, while telling him of her plans, excitedly.

Zee shakes his head with a smile while closing the door behind him.

The taxi ride was quite short, and they arrive at the venue.

Zee could not believe what he was seeing. They were 2.5 hours early, but the outside is already packed. Locals, and tourists and he can even see Thai or Asian girls lining up, and he was not expecting it to be this huge. There were stands for selling of merchandise, lines of people, going in and it was packed with people. 

Who was this person exactly, and was he living under a rock for not knowing?

He also gets looked on a lot. He looks around to realize he seemed to be the only male in the whole area, and now he feels a little estranged. But he looks behind him when he hears a male voice and sees a local and smiles at him. At least, he isn't the only _one_.

They were finally able to get inside, and Janis got them the very front seats. They were in the middle of the section already, since despite being 2.5 hours early, so many people lined up way before them.

The stadium was only half full at the moment, but considering the number of people still outside, and the time left before the concert starts, it's going to be jam-packed.

Janis is too behaved today. Only looking around and looking at her phone from time to time. She must be very nervous and excited, for her to be out of her usual self. 

He leans back on his seat, and a girl approaches him and asks for a selfie. He doesn't understand why, but he can't say no to the young girl's expectant eyes. The young girl takes her phone out and he smiles for 2 or 3 photos as asked. Then the girl thanks him, then walks away. And it happens a couple of times more.

'Is it unusual to have boys at a concert?' He hears Janis clear her throat, and he turns around to see the mirth on her face. He scowls at her, and she brings up her hand as a surrender.

He faces front, then takes his phone from his pocket. He scrolls at the pictures he transferred to his phone from his camera. He sorts the pictures into different folders, sends to his email the ones he wants to keep and develop, one just for files, and ones he can post online. He was concentrating and having fun and lost track of time. He only stopped when he noticed the lights turn off, and everyone is screaming. He puts his phone down and sees a huge LED screen on the back, light up.

He pockets his phone and gets the shock of his life. 

There on the LED screen showed a video of Sup, dancing on a garden, with him looking so ethereal in all white, and the light of the sun on his back. Then it changes on a night scene, where only his silhouette is visible but still recognizable. Then it changes into a splash painting as a backdrop, then him dancing in a paint-splattered jean jacket and pants.

Is he the opening act for this singer?

He hears singing, then the stage shifts. A man emerges from the bottom of the stage and appears, the man in his wildest dreams and deepest fantasies. And everyone around him is screaming, even Janis is pushing and pulling him out of his seat, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Is Supappong, Saint?

He wants to make sure. He needs to make sure. 

"Is that Saint?" He asks Janis. His sister is barely able to hear his question, with how hard she is screaming and on the verge of tears. 

"Yes! That's my angel Saint!" She whisper-yells, her hands flailing in the air.

Zee feels the air sucked out of his body. He wants to get out of here. He looks around and wants to run out of here.

Janis notices his panic and turns to him. "Are you alright? Is it getting too much for you?" she asks worriedly.

Zee shakes his head no, unable to get the words out of his mouth. He can't ruin this for Janis. Not when she took him here as a bonding experience. Not when he can't tell his friends, or even his sister.

He wants to bolt out of the building, possibly get out of Italy. But the one person he desires is in front of him singing so beautifully and dancing so gracefully like he owned the world. Like he was made for this, and he is. Then he realizes, he knows nothing about him.

He only knows the name Sup, he is 21 years old, he writes, and that he looks breathtaking on black and blue satin sheets.

Then he realizes he knows next to nothing about the man who calls his name when he pleasures him, like a mantra, but his heart surges with the mere mention of his name and the mere memory of his face. He realizes he's in love with a stranger. 

The whole event went by a blur and he bolts out of the hall as soon as it finished. He went first almost leaving Janis behind, but his sister caught up with him, and she just looks at him the whole time on the taxi ride to their hotel.

Zee knows his sister is worried, but he can't face her right now. He can't talk right now. 

He looks at the window outside and prays for the time and the passing of the street lights to take the pain away.

Maybe if he distances himself enough, he can forget anything even happened, and he can go back to his solitude.

Maybe if he sees enough beautiful people, he can forget that one face his heart remembers.

Maybe if he,

Maybe if,

Maybe,

Their flight back to Thailand was silent and forlorn.

Its been a couple of weeks now and he still has not said anything about the concert, taking the effort of talking to his sister Janis and his friends normally. 

He promises himself he will be better. 

He bought the pastries that his sister told him to, and he compares it to the croissant he had tried in Paris. A passenger requested from him, tea with milk, and he tells himself, he will now stick to coffee. On a sleepover, Nat asks for a blanket, and he changes his sheets into white.

He is on a flight to Paris, and his body is about to give up. His eyes are closing on its own, and his butt feels stiff. It's a 13-hour Seattle-Paris flight, with only 1 stopover. But he just came from a 17-hour flight from the Philippines to California, and so his body has not been on a bed, and he's about to fall dead asleep on his seat.

His friends have already voiced their worries about him, taking long flights, and not having rest days for more than 2 days. He knows his friends can sense something is wrong, but he insists, that everything is fine. And he tells the same to his sister. 

But because his friends have been very worried, in his stead, they requested for a week and a half paid leave, for him, so he can finally have proper rest. He has been working non-stop for the past 3 months, he has finally got used to the long flights and the always-changing time zones. But it's been approved, and it will start once they land back to Thailand.

Landing in Paris after months feels surreal. It feels like he’s here for the first time, even if he’s been here a hundred times over. He drags his luggage out of the airport, his friends by his side talking about their plans since they only leave Paris tomorrow morning.

He says he’d like to have the afternoon alone again and catch up with them in the evening. They let him go, and tells him they’ll call as a reminder. 

He gets another accommodation this time. Something the airlines didn’t provide. He gets an apartelle, 20 minutes away from the Eiffel Tower, somewhere he can just walk to go there, but still some distance away. 

He plans to revisit all the good spots he likes. He takes his camera with him and takes pictures of the strip of shops by the sidewalk, the people, the passers-by. He visits a cafe, eats croissants, bacon, and egg, and coffee. and for the first time, takes pictures of his food before eating them. Then goes to a nearby gallery. He listens to the guide telling them stories behind the artworks and taking pictures still. He’s trying to be less camera-shy and takes pictures of himself too. 

Then without noticing it, it's evening. And Poppy calls him to remind him they were meeting in the hotel bar. So he goes back to his apartelle and freshens up. He messages in their group chat, he’s coming over in 30 minutes, cause his rented place is quite far from their location.

He finishes in 10 minutes, but he walks the way there and takes his time to look at the scenery at that hour. 

He feels like he's seen this before, but never really actually seeing. 

He’s seen these pretty lights, but now it felt duller. He has seen the bustle of the night market, but before it seemed livelier.

He speed walks the rest of the way. And they all greet him. He raises his eyebrows, quite weirded out that they haven’t trashed the place, yet.

“We just thought this would be a chill night. You know, just us talking, and getting drunk on expensive wine, cause why not?” Mark says. 

Zee nods and mutters “Sure”

Except they never really actually talked. They just drank their fill, looked at Zee every 2 minutes, then talk with each other. And he doesn’t have the energy to engage with them.

“Thailand. Once we’re back in Thailand, I’ll be better. I promise.” He tells them.

His friends smile forlornly, and Jimmy tells him “You’re okay buddy. We’re here for you. You know that right?” 

He smiles at them, feeling grateful that they never asked him what was wrong, just waited for him. And he’ll get back to them. He just needs a little more time. To find himself again.

He’s on the 2nd day of his paid leave, stayed in bed for 16 hours straight, and now he feels like his limbs are leaving him. He has not eaten or got out of his bed since the other night. Only sorting his pictures, go to sleep, then attempt to read a chapter or 2 in his unfinished book, then back to sleep.

But he decides he’ll go to a temple that morning. He’ll pray for blessing and guidance, and take more pictures.

He wears a white button shirt, over a loose tank top, with white pants. The weather forecast said it will be sunny and bright. Perfect weather for a day out.

He takes his camera and drives to the temple he frequents. He misses this, driving. Working in another country, meant he stays at hotels, ride taxis, or walk. So he misses being behind the wheel.

He arrives there relatively early since there's not much traffic as it’s a weekday and everyone is at work, or in school. He does an offering, praying to different locations, then asked for advice from a monk. 

The monk told him "No matter what you're searching for, look no further. It's always been with you, you just have to look." he nods, and not fully understanding.

When he deems he’s done enough, he takes pictures again.

People kneeling, with their heads down in prayer. Children wanting to play around, but apprehended because it’s a sacred place, and in his viewfinder, he sees it. 

A man walking to him, dressed in all white, hair combed back, and the sun shining on his flawless face. 

“P’Zee” Saint says.

Zee puts his camera down and looks at the man before him. He doesn’t greet back but smiles and nods his head once. 

“How have you been P’Zee?” The man dressed in all white asks, and he looks at his eyes like he always does.

He looks away and composes himself first before, “I’m fine. Still flying around. You?”

“I’m good. You like to pray in temples too?” He asks.

Zee nods and brings up his camera. 

“We got to stop meeting like this,” Saint says teasingly, but with a frown on his lips.

“Yeah, we should,” Zee says. Wais to Saint then walks away. 

Zee walks. He walks with lead on his feet. His body telling him ‘no go back!’, but his jaded brain, and his lonely heart ‘wanting to cry and beg, Why?’

‘Why does it have to be you?’ and ‘Why did you lie to me?’ and ‘Why? Is it because I’m not enough?’

“P’Zee!” Saint shouts, in a volume, not really acceptable in the location. 

He hears sped up footsteps, so he speeds up.

But today the universe must be against him, Saint caught up to him and grasps his arm tightly, and he yanks back. 

“What?!” He shouts.

“P’Zee, why do you always run away?” Saint asks and lets go of the older's arm, but Zee still won't turn around.

"Did I do something wrong?" the younger asks in a quiet voice.

Zee snickers and smirks.

"Something wrong? Nothing. Nothing's wrong. You just told me to stop meeting you and so I'm going. Isn't that what you want?" Zee says venomously. 

Saint gasps and goes in front of the older. Zee insists on looking down on the ground, and he now has a good view of Saint's shoes.

"What do you mean P'? I don't mean it that way" the younger says.

Zee is getting tired of this game and decides to stop it for good. So he looks up, and he sees the younger actually has his hair combed back as he did in that video. He smiles at him and says,

"Nothing. Everything's fine. I just really need to go somewhere, I'm in a hurry." Zee says with a practiced smile on his face, one he uses for work. 

"I'm not in a hurry, can I come with you?" Saint asks expectantly. Zee shakes his head.

"I'm sorry. This will take a while. I'd hate to impose on you or anything. I know you've got places to be. It's nice meeting you though." Zee cheerfully says and does a mock salute.

He walks away as soon as he said it. He speeds walk to his car, but he feels his chest get heavier with every step. 

He can see his car now, and he tells himself 'just a few more steps, you're almost there, you'll get out of this'.

But when he reaches his car door, he sees the younger on the passenger side, out of breath, with a smile on his sweet face. He purses his lips to point at the door, and Zee curses his luck.

He doesn't want to do this anymore. This tirade needs to stop.

"What do you want Saint? I told you, you can't come with me." Zee rebukes. He sees the instant the younger face shifts, and he realizes, he said his other name. He shakes his head and thinks, 'that's who he is, why should it matter.

He takes the opportunity the younger was shocked, quickly opens his door and closes, but with the time he needs to insert the key, the younger gets in too and locks the door.

Going to the temple today has been the absolute worst decision he has made in his life. He wants to get out of his car and walk home, but he decides to be an adult, and get out of this situation calmly, and rationally.

So he starts the car, drives out of the temple.

"Where do I drop you off, Saint?" He asks. Saint is looking out the window, not answering him.

He bites his lip in anger, but continues driving, and turns on the music. He plays his usual car music, and finally, the younger speaks.

"I like this kind of music when driving too. It keeps me relaxed but awake."

Zee makes a turn to a corner, finally getting on the highway. "Do you mind if I drop you off at the mall?" Zee asks.

"Is that where you're going?" Saint rebuttals, looking at him.

"No." Zee answers curtly, and the younger looks out the window again, "then no. I don't want to be dropped off at the mall."

Zee clenches his fist on the steering wheel and tries again. "Where do I drop you off, Saint?" 

The younger ignores him a second time and Zee just keeps on driving.

They have been silent for a few minutes, then the younger asks.

"When did you know I'm Saint?" 

"At your concert. I took my sister to your concert in Milan." He answers shortly, but honestly. The younger looks at him.

"Your sister is a fan of mine?" Saint asks.

"Yeah. Where do I drop you off?" Zee asks again.

"Why did you leave me in Paris, P'Zee?" Instead, Saints asks.

"Why not? It was a one-night stand. I didn't know I had to tell you I was leaving." Zee answers coldly.

"You know it wasn't," Saint says.

"Oh was it now?" Zee snarks.

"Yes it wasn't, and I know you feel the same way," Saint says.

"I appreciate your confidence, but I don't know what you're talking about."

"I was not asleep that morning, you know. I was already awake." Saint says.

Zee feels panic rise up in his chest, and he does his best not to stutter. "Oh yeah? And what about it?"

"You were watching me sleep, I could feel it. And you touched my face too." 

"So what? I was barely awake."

"I was also watching you sleep. I intentionally woke up before you to watch you sleep."

Zee hates this. His heart is so weak, he can feel it almost letting go. But he won't. He doesn't want this.

"It doesn't mean anything Saint. We're both adults. It's normal to have flings here and there."

"Is that what I am? A fling?" Saint whispers.

"Oh. Was I not? Isn't that why you never told me you were some bigshot celebrity? Isn't that why you chose a nobody like me? Because I'm convenient?" Zee growls.

"Pull over." Saint orders.

"Oh now, you want to get off. Sure, I'll pull over." Zee says and makes a sharp turn to a stopping area. When the car stops, he unlocks the door, expecting the younger to get off, but he faces him instead. They were silent for a minute, until

"Yes. I don't want to lie and tell you something else. But yes, you were there and it was convenient. But you wanted it too. If you didn't, you could've just pushed me away." Saint says. 

Zee refuses to face him and says. "Of course I couldn't. You were beautiful, and you offered. You have always been this beautiful, have you ever been rejected in your life? I don't think so." 

Saint is silent again, and it unnerves him.

"Are you getting off or not? Cause I won't start this car unless you get off."

Saint crosses his arm.

"When I boarded that plane to Seoul, you caught my attention. You looked at me, like a was a normal passenger. I knew you didn't know who I was. So I took the opportunity. I genuinely didn't expect you to not push me away. I didn't know if you're gay or straight, I just went for it."

"Oh. So it's not because I looked easy, but because I was different, and that excites you?" 

"Can you please stop talking like this. I know you're not like this."

"You don't know anything about me. Like I don't know anything about you. We fucked 3 times, and that's it. You don't need to feel obligated, or like you have to take responsibility for me. That's what's a fling is for."

"P'Zee," Saint calls out tearfully. Zee looks at him briefly, and sees the tears, falling in the youngers eyes. The younger brings his hand to his face and wipes the tears in his eyes. He didn't even know when he started crying.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you who I was. I liked that you didn't know me. I felt different, like I'm human, not an object. And I wanted to keep that illusion for as long as I could, with you. You caught my attention because you were different yes, but because you smile so kindly at everybody, and you have the prettiest eyes I have seen in my life. And I was selfish. I was selfish and I wanted that. I thought I could keep you to myself if I kept who I was, and it's foolish. I know."

Zee tears his face away and clenches the steering wheel. He has made up his mind about this. He will never be good enough for Saint. Never. He can't take this beautiful human away from the world. So he wipes his tears away and keeps his face stoic.

"Now you got me. And my whole being with it. Are you happy now?"

Saint shakes his head. 

"What more do you want from me? What more could you take from me? I have nothing left! Don't you see?"

"P'Zee, that time I gave you a blowjob on the plane, that was my first time."

Zee snickers. "Of course, you're used to just receive right? All those men and women lined up for your attention."

Saint clenches his fist.

"Do you think just because I'm a celebrity, I sleep around? You're my first time damn it!" Saint shouts.

Zee is a little shaken. But his mind is made up.

"It doesn't change anything Saint. Please, let's just move on from this. You don't have to meet me again ever in your life, you don't have to be scared or something.

"I know it doesn't. But you were so gentle with me, every time.."

"But P'. I can't let you go. Not anymore. On the plane, that was convenient, that night in Seoul was a coincidence, but that night in Paris was assurance. I was falling for you, so hard. And I needed to assure myself it was love, not just lust."

"And I know this means nothing to you, but the moment I saw your face, asleep on that morning in Paris, I knew. I knew that you were the only being in this world I could ever want." Saint says tearfully.

Zee closes his eyes, and his tears flow again. He can feel his heartbreak, in the voice of his angel crying out for him. That morning in Paris is when he realized he's in love with him.

"I knew, and I know, I belong to you. You could toss me away, and break me, but I will still want you, even if you don't want me." Saint finishes.

Zee doesn't know what to do or say. 

"You were the one who took away everything and broke me Sup. You broke my trust. But I was never good enough for you. I saw you on that stage, in Milan, and you looked so beautiful, that even if I felt betrayed, I couldn't look away. You own the world, you own me and you belong there. Not to a nobody like me." Zee says lowly. 

He feels his soul sucked out of his body, but he feels the younger's hands and turns his face, to make him look at him. Even with tears and snot on his face, he looks so flawless. And his heart scolds him. Who is he, to make someone like Saint cry? He doesn't have the energy to lean away.

"If I took everything from you, then I'll give it back. But I have to be with you. I don't want the world, but you. Your eyes, your crazy eyebrows, your smile, your hands, your voice, your cold demeanor, your silent and fierce way of loving your friends, it's you." Saint says. 

"Please have me P'Zee. Take me."

Zee holds the hairs, of the back of Saint's head, and leans his head slowly unto the younger's. He leans up to kiss his forehead, and he can hear his sobs become louder, and his tears are still flowing freely. He can never say no. Not to him.

"Okay." Zee whispers, he plays with the soft hair of his head. Then he kisses his eyes, with the salty tears that fall from it, and the younger nods his head slowly, holding the lapel on Zee’s button shirt, so he doesn't let go.

Saint nods again slowly to not stop Zee from kissing his face and says, "Okay?" then he smiles.

Saint opens his eyes, Zee does too, and the younger looks so bright, he glowed with one word; Okay.

So Zee says it again. "Okay."

Sup brings both hands to the older’s head, and finally, the younger smiles bigger and says again. "Okay. Thank you. I love you."

Zee smiles, in disbelief, that he is loved, and by the only person, he wants and needs in this world. If he is still stuck in his dreams and fantasies, it's still good as any. He can never wake up, and still, be in bliss. But he wants to say it back before he wakes up, and before his dreams and fantasies, dissipates.

"And I, you." 

And he kisses him first. Zee kissed the younger with all the soul left in him. All the love that is for him, but the younger leans back to stop them, reminds him,

“P’ we're on the highway. Let’s go to my place. Come with me.” Saint says. 

Zee nods and drives the car as if his life depends on it. He asks the younger where he stays, and he’s elated to know they were only 10 minutes away.

They make it in 5, breaking possibly all the traffic laws existing in Bangkok, but they make it. They rushed to the elevator, Zee almost destroying the buttons when he pushed on the highest floor. And they stumble inside. Hurried and in haste.

They make a line of their clothes towards the younger’s bed, and they slow down. Wanting to take their time. 

Zee pushes the younger on his bed, red. His body writhing in red sheets. He litters red marks on his white body. On his chest, avoiding his neck. On his navel, towards the line of his boxers, and skips to his thighs. He wanted to take his time on his milky thighs, so he kisses his feet first, goes up to his legs. 

He kisses and sucks marks on his milky, white thighs. Making sure they will leave red ones, that will turn purple after a few days. And he litters them on the inside of his thighs. 

He takes off his clothes, and the younger pulls him for a kiss. 

Saint switches their position, he is now on top and sitting snugly on his growing arousal. He leans his head back, groaning in pleasure as his hips make circular motions, feeling of Zee's hard-on, on the cleft of his behind. 

Zee feels his senses heightened, with the view of the younger man, looking wrecked above him. So he leans back on the bed head and holds his slim waist to support him. 

Saint looks at him, eyes that look like he can swallow him whole, and he makes his way down the older’s body with kisses and bites. But he doesn’t take his time as much as Zee did, the younger getting impatient and he takes Zee’s underwear off, takes him in his mouth, all the way down to his throat.

“Saint,” Zee groans.

“I don’t have lube or condom. So this will have to do.” Saint says briefly, the goes back to his arousal.

Zee groans, thinking he’ll be taking Saint raw this time. 

“I’m clean. I always get tested. It’s a requirement,” Zee says.

Saint stops and smiles. “I trust you.” 

Then Saint moves up, and leads the older’s arousal, to his behind, and takes him in, every painful inch. 

Zee groans, tightening his hold on Saint's hips, in attempts of controlling himself to let the younger adjust and control. But Saint moves up, and his grip on Zee's shoulders tightens, not letting himself adjust. He moves up and down, despite the pain. He knows it’ll eventually feel better.

Zee groans in absolute, unadulterated pleasure. He has seen the younger in red sheets, watched him wrecked on top of him, and now uses his body, for pleasure. Deepest fantasies.

“P’Zee, I knew you’d look good on red sheets too, ngh!” Saint says with a small smile, then breaks into a moan when he hit a bundle of nerves inside him.

“P'Zee, Come with me.”

And they make love for hours and hours, until the morning. And does it again, in the bathroom, on the kitchen counter, on the couch, and even on the biggest wall on Saint’s condo.

They make love until they can do no more. And they feel their hearts swell, on silk red sheets.

Zee's 1 week and a half paid leave, went by in a blur. And he felt refreshed and ready to tackle the world, and his friends notice this immediately.

"Something good happened during your leave?" Park asks. 

Zee shrugs and smiles at him. In his happiness, he even holds his head in a headlock, that Park easily got out.

The rest follows suit, and they rowdy up the airport lobby immediately.

"What happened?" Joss asks.

"You'll know when we get to Tokyo." He tells them. They luckily took it as an answer, but the smirk in Tommy and Jimmy's face tells them, they know more than they let on.

Zee ignores them again. He knows they've been talking. Ever since Paris. And he knows that Sup actually followed them around in Milan. He knows it's kinda creepy, but he finds it endearing. That's the love of his life, even then it's creepy but endearing. Sup told him everything, every single thing, and he told him it's creepy. 

When they got to Tokyo and were able to settle in their hotel, they spent the evening in the hotel bar. And a familiar figure approaches them.

"Saint!" Poppy shouts excitedly, which earned him a smack to the head, and a punch to the arm. 

"Hey, guys. How was the trip?" He asks and kisses Zee's lips when he sat beside him.

The guys were in absolute chaos, catcalling and congratulating them both. And he's pretty sure he heard someone say, 'Finally'. But later. He's preoccupied.

They spent the whole night drinking expensive wine, talking animatedly, even gets approached by some people asking them to be models. But they’re in their own world.

Sup looks at Zee.

"Come with me." the younger asks.

Zee grins and nods. He takes his hand, and this time drags the younger with him. He wants to lead this time, and this time, he'll take his everything with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This was. This was easy to write, but also very very difficult. You have no idea how much I had to hold back on describing Zee's feelings too much cause I tend to get more dramatic when it comes to emotions. And I tried my best on the mysterious-brooding Zee, but I keep making him dramatic instead. I know, I'm a failure. Huhu
> 
> I did a major overhaul with the original ending and confession part soo. IDK. But I don't know if this is the ending I wanted, but it also somehow did the job? OMG. But I'll come back to it later for editing, and maybe some changes? 
> 
> Edit: I'm kinda lowkey thinking about adding a 3rd chapter, this time in Janis's side of the story (fangirling basically). But I'm not sure yet. But if you think I should, you can comment smth like, "Yes bitch" or smth, but if you think it's okay as it is; "Nah bitch. TF you talking bout?" Hehe
> 
> But as always, comments, suggestions, criticisms, and fangirling is very welcome in the comment section below.
> 
> Like, if you find any typos or any criticisms like; 'what the hell did I just read?' is very welcome. I honestly have no idea what I wrote, and I may be just too tired, and I need the wake-up call. Hehe
> 
> But if you liked it, please consider clicking the Kudos button.
> 
> And I hope you enjoyed this... thing.
> 
> Until then, 
> 
> Ciao Bellas!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So I intended for this to be a one-shot, but it got waaaaay out of hand. It basically has a mind on its own, and I'm just a pawn here.
> 
> But I can't post the whole thing without overwhelming anyone, so I'm cutting it into two parts. And post it after a couple of days. I hope. Hehe
> 
> Any comments, suggestions, criticisms, or lbr, fangirling, is very accepted in the comment sections below.
> 
> And if you liked it, please consider clicking the Kudos button.
> 
> Until then!
> 
> Ciao Bellas!


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